Church Battles

Okay, so this post is inspired by another post I saw earlier where this babe was judging us guys for wearing fitting suits to church, wearing glasses and basically doing anything except breathing in church as she finds it offensive as it’s apparently hard to concentrate because of the “lustful thoughts” that drift into her mind. The link here

Well I got one message for her and all other girls who are having this challenge… ladies, you have no idea!

Many of us good Christian men wake up on Sunday mornings and thank God for a new day and for another chance to experience corporate fellowship with their fellow good Christians. We then get prepared to go to church while singing praises and we are so elated because we are about to go into the house of God.

We get to the church and while praise and worship is ongoing, suddenly, something strange happens as our eyes drift from the pastor to the young female entering the church in heels and a dress that leaves little to the imagination, but apparently, since it’s long enough to cover her knees, it’s supposedly decent enough, we didn't realize we had stopped singing, whether it’s because we’re speechless or because we forgot the words to the song, we are still unsure, scientists are still doing their research.

In The Weird News Section

So i was chilling at home one day right, i was incredibly bored cuz my phone and laptop batteries were flat, so i decided to open a news magazine i saw lying around. Guess what i saw in the bizarre news section, remember my post about Crazy Church Names, well this church doesn't have a weird name, the name is White Tail Church or so, but their mode of worship is just plain crazy. Apparently in the church the congregation worships in the nude, asin butt naked with their instruments for bedroom tango put on display for the church to see. Like seriously i'm meant to come to church naked every Sunday and worship with a congregation that has females, what if i get a boner, would I be sent to the sinners corner or something. Detecting male first timers would be sooo easy, every guy with a boner is a first timer.

According to the pastor they worship naked because that's how God made man and that the most important moments in Christ's life happened when he was naked, when he was born, when he was crucified and when he arose. Not sure my bible says Jesus was naked when he was crucified and when he arose sure it stated that his clothes were left in the tomb but he wasn't naked when he appeared unto people was he. The pastor justified their style of worship by describing nudity as a great equalizer, he said people can't judge each other based on their articles of clothing so its impossible to segregate by wealth (true but won't segregation by what you're packing become the new thing). What will they come up with next.