Wednesday 7 October 2015

With 13 Billion Pounds





Dieziani13BillionPounds


Every Nigeria not living under a rock should by now have heard of the 13 Billion Pounds that went walkabout from the nation’s coffers and is currently being pinned on ex minister fine lady Diezani. Thirteen Billion Pounds is an outrageous amount of money and I highly doubt she stole it alone but be that as it may I’m not here to talk about her level of guilt, I’m just here to talk about that money, what would I do if I had that much money?

13 billion pounds equals roughly 20 billion dollars which equals about 3.94 Trillion naira, that is much more than a buttload of money, with that kinda money you can give five thousand people 200 million naira and still too rich to care. If I had that kinda money:

  • I would banish the Kardashians from all forms of media.
  • I would have a lion, a panda and a wolf trained as my pets.
  • I would finance research to allow humans understand dogs.
  • I would buy a country and play SIMS with real people.
  • I would just stop NTA from airing, they are embarrassing us.
  • I would not enter the same car twice.
  • I would buy a movie studio and make the stories in my head into movies.
  • I would pay for hair transplant surgery for Wiz Kid’s chin.
  • And lastly I would buy land on Mars since they just found water on it and all that.

 Ok now that I’m done with my fantasies tell me, what would you do if you had that much money?



Tuesday 6 October 2015

How To Avoid Trailer From Jamming you


I'm sure you must have heard about the long lasting trend mostly on twitter #iwasinmyhouseandtrailercametojamme. Obviously it's a little late seeing the amount of casualties that have already been affected, I mean nobody is safe from these accidents casualties include and are not limited to day to day individuals, Twitter celebs and even real life celebrities.
So in this post I would be giving a couple ways you can avoid or save yourself from havoc if it should rise through this means.

Remain in your lane and wear a Safety Belt
I know you're most likely in your home and you may be thinking How the hell am I going to get a seat belt?  Just do it. Think before you tweet or write anything (where's the fun in that, I know right), avoid any insultive comments or innuendoes, try not to offend anyone, don't type much, just retweet and laugh like the majority of us. I advice against this it boring and it sucks.

Act as a road safety official
One of you duties as such an individual is to gather evidence, so you would snapshot such incidents when they occur and make those funny ass four picture tweets with the hashtag and you'll probably generate a large amount of retweets. I know this doesn't really prevent anything but it's so much fun.

Get A Bigger Trailer 
Some people come in with the mind to cause accidents not knowing their targets own larger automobiles in their Arsenal that can alter their sense of direction entirely. You have to have very fast, offensive, apt, sharp and painful replies to the other individuals initial attempt. Leaving him crushed and dumb founded.

So I hope you've learnt something new from this thought provoking article and you use it well, hope to do this again sometime soon and I wouldn't mind hearing from you what you think.