Saturday 11 April 2015

Church Battles

Okay, so this post is inspired by another post I saw earlier where this babe was judging us guys for wearing fitting suits to church, wearing glasses and basically doing anything except breathing in church as she finds it offensive as it’s apparently hard to concentrate because of the “lustful thoughts” that drift into her mind. The link here
Well I got one message for her and all other girls who are having this challenge… ladies, you have no idea!

Many of us good Christian men wake up on Sunday mornings and thank God for a new day and for another chance to experience corporate fellowship with their fellow good Christians. We then get prepared to go to church while singing praises and we are so elated because we are about to go into the house of God.

We get to the church and while praise and worship is ongoing, suddenly, something strange happens as our eyes drift from the pastor to the young female entering the church in heels and a dress that leaves little to the imagination, but apparently, since it’s long enough to cover her knees, it’s supposedly decent enough, we didn't realize we had stopped singing, whether it’s because we’re speechless or because we forgot the words to the song, we are still unsure, scientists are still doing their research.



As she passes, and we lose sight of her, we begin to clear our minds as the choir starts singing “I have a very big God o, by my side, by my side!” We are inspired and start singing too, trying to get back on track, but NNOOO, another lady in tight trousers and a top casually walks by and our eyes can’t help but follow… if God was by our side, He would have given us that disgusted look you give someone who just said they like Justin Bieber and he has left your side. We’re still gingered, NO! I came here for God, we want to shake it off our minds when another passes again, at that point in time, Jesus has done a face-palm at you.

 This goes on till the end of the service by which time we realize we don’t even know the name of the preacher much less the topic of the preaching.
We then say, “Lord… maybe next week!” and proceed to get the pin of that girl we think could maybe possibly have glanced at us during the service.

Now, I could give a list of things girls should not wear or do when coming to church, but I would probably still generate another list after that one, because well… even an elbow may turn a guy on sometimes... if it's the right elbow (just kidding!). Also, I'm already tired of writing so yeah... but anyway, if you want to see examples of what gives us such a hard time in the church, just click here.
Anyways, my solution is this, could you find a way to maybe…  I dunno... be invisible in church or something... at least until after the service!

Maybe, just maybe, then, we would have a chance!

2 comments:

  1. That part where you went "Anyways, my solution is this, could you find a way to maybe… I dunno... be invisible in church or something... at least until after the service!" and then "he has given us that disgusted look you give someone who just said they like Justin Bieber and he has left your side" killed me i couldn't stop laughing, great stuff.

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