My Next Girlfriend

     I don't have a girlfriend, I know its a shocker (considering how charming i am) but that's the truth. I know some people will have a hard time believing but yes even awesome guys like me are single at times (most of the time actually) but that's going to change, there's this girl that's been in my head a lot lately, i think i might have a crush on her.  And yes she is the most beautiful girl in Nigeria, i have a crush on Anna Banner, the winner of the latest MBGN. Immediately i saw her picture, i realized that we are destined to meet soon and she'll be my girlfriend. And yes i know you probably think I'm dreaming or something, but I'm not and as to how we'll meet, i don't know its all up to fate, and i'm sure when she sees me she'll also realize we're soul mates hehehe.
      P.S. MBGN is the Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria beauty pageant

More pictures of her after the cut

Sent Out Of Class

   I got sent out of class today. Why you ask? For sleeping that's why. Seriously why send me out of the class just because i was sleeping, other lecturers just tell someone to wake you up or tell you to come stand with them in front, but nooo not this engineer, he bores you to death then sends you out for sleeping. I've had boring lecturers before but this guy is on a whole new level, you don't know the meaning of boredom until you sit through a two hour lecture with him. He talks the way some people whisper, like he's talking to himself, the way your voice is when you're trying to remind yourself of something you read a while ago. Even when he's given the public address system it doesn't get better, he puts it at his throat as if that's where his mouth is. He likes to take long pauses and look at his note, and when he decides to write on the board, if you're not seated in the first 4 rows, then you'll need binoculars to see his handwriting. And as if that is not enough the guy has a sleeping aura around him, its like he's endowed with the power to bore people to death, you can't just be that boring with human abilities its not possible, his own is supernatural.
    
   

The Greatest Nigerian Myth

  

       As a kid i was told many different stories of things that supposedly happened years before i was born, and at that time i believed all the stories to be true, but as i grew up i realized that most of those stories were huge lies probably fabricated by someone who wanted to amuse or scare the children around him, and those children probably spread the stories everywhere they went. And some of the stories were based on real events blown way out of proportion.
       One of the ancient folktales is that of the 'Bush Baby', I'm guessing this myth was fabricated by senior students trying to scare the younger, more innocent students. As I was told a Bush baby is a baby from the dark realms that roams the bushes at night crying and holding a mat, and anyone who can steal its mat will have to survive 7 nights of torture from the baby, and if the person is able to survive the nights of torture, his wealth will know no bounds. Back in the day that was kinda scary but as i grew up i learnt that bush baby is actually another name for one small animal like that, and its called bush baby because it makes baby like noises. Another is the bloody Mary myth. Back in secondary school I was told that if you turn off all the lights in your room leaving only a candlelight on then you hold up a mirror and say "Bloody Mary" twelve times an image of Mary will appear in the mirror crying tears of blood, as if that wasn't enough you supposedly bleed out of your eyes too and then you die. No one i know ever tried it and i was too scared to, i later found out Bloody Mary is actually a famous drink.
     

Is This Real?

Saw this picture earlier and i wonder how those eggs got in there, its probably photoshop or those 'Now You See Me' movie guys at work again

A Serious Case of Apathy

   For as long as i have known myself, I've always had a lot of different hobbies but I've always also lost interest in most of my hobbies, sometimes at a shocking rate. I could love doing something today and it'll be like i'll never want to stop, but then sometimes as short as a week later i lose interest in it completely. Sometimes i feel it happens to everyone but then i take a look at my friends and i notice that their main hobbies don't change, but i can't categorically tell you my hobbies because they always change, even my love for movies and video games has dropped over the years, and back in the day i could go 12 hours straight or even more either gaming or watching movies, but now the game or movie must be really interesting to get me interested.
        And its not restricted to just entertainment alone, back in the day i used to care about my school work and getting good grades and all but now I'm comfortable just maintaining a constant level, i probably only go for lectures because my parents paid for it and i need to listen because i hate reading, and also definitely because we need a 75% attendance to write exams.

Football Fanatics

  In Nigeria the most popular sport is football also known as soccer because its usually confused with american football though i don't know why they call it football, the sport involves the use of hands way more than it does the use of the foot and the ball looks more like an egg frankly it should be called handegg but back to the main point, people generally love football and some or should i say most of the football fans go to great lengths to show their support, you find people taking their favorite team's issues so personally most people have even adopted the style of referring to their teams as themselves for instance my favorite team is Liverpool so saying "Liverpool won the match" would translate to "I won the match" you basically get the point and when a match between two major teams is going to be played the arguments that would never be settled would begin and getting them to shut up could only be achieve at gun point some of the arguments end up resulting in brawls and all for something you won't earn a dime from no matter the outcome, don't get me wrong i'm also a fan of the sport but i'm not a fan of the endless arguments and screaming that all would be pointless in the end and i hate it when the arguments spill over to my room or at least to an hearing distance i don't mind arguments but i dislike arguments which just ends up with the involved parties in the same mind set as they began and i hate too much screaming unless i'm the one doing the screaming, and now as a new season begins i will be hearing a whole lot of screaming.

Laptop Wars

                                       

      As university students it is very necessary to have laptops and its even more necessary for students studying science related courses and ever since i started my time in Covenant university it has been a battle of who has the best laptop between my coursemates, my laptops have always been average so i'm never in the running for the ranks, over the years we've seen a wide range of laptop specs with Hp, Dell and Sony spending the most time at the top of the Laptop ladder of awesomeness. The current Laptop King in my course is Austin, a guy who had a dream to be second to none on the ranks (in my course at least), to the best of my knowledge his first laptop was even below average but in our second year he got a Sony Vaio and was crowned King for the first time he had a coronation and everything the whole nine yards and after a while Oke bought the laptop from him making him the new King, Oke later bought another laptop from Austin to claim the throne again for a short time then Austin always came with a better laptop then sold that then bought another and the cycle continues.
     

The Freshman Feeling

        As we just began a new academic year everywhere i go i see the new students or Freshers as we call them moving around and where ever they are they stick out like a sore thumb, their dressing is a major give away as they are not yet accustomed to the way we dress they look funny to us old students. And if you're a fresher and a group of people start laughing as you walk past them and they weren't laughing or giggling before, then you probably the reason for their laughter you probably won't understand why now but you would when you're in their shoes.
        About three years ago i was also a fresher and back then before i got to school boot cut was still the "in thing " or at least to me, "it was a lie o.....was a small boy like this...evribody was looking big but i knew that one day i will grow.lwkmd...was a dead guy that year tho but like d peak advert 'i was determined to never give up'.i can remember myself wearing parachute trousers and shirt thinking that i was so fly" Lol the statement in quote was written by James one of my many mischievious friends, i know i was small and and wore big clothes but come on i wasn't that bad. Back then i didn't get it all and i didn't think anything was wrong with the way i dressed but when i saw the next set of freshers i understood why we were so funny back then, in the end adapting takes time.

What Movie Characters Said These?

"Say hello to my little friend"-

"I'm king of the world!"-

"May the force be with you"-

"I'll be back"-

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse"-

My Take On- Man Of Steel

                                                                     

      Well basically anyone who knows anything at all about Superman would know the movie sucked and was a poor depiction of Superman, we've always known Krypton's technology to involve a lot of crystals but in this movie they changed the way their tech looks all together i'm guessing they were trying to make it look more modern futuristic but i'm not sure i prefer the change, and the story was just plain dumb at some points for example the kryptonians knew their planet was about to explode but instead of evacuating whatever number of citizens they could they decided it was best to send the criminals off the dying planet and let all their citizens even their leaders die with the planet, I wonder what the writer was thinking.
      Then as the story moved on Louis Lane was able to find him with little effort, like seriously if its that easy why wouldn't the government have found him long ago and besides in the Superman story everyone knows Louis never knew his identity until he told her this version just seemed stupid. In this movie Superman's strength and speed were greatly reduced i mean it was tough for him to hold up just a tower structure at the oil rig and when did superman start to breath underwater cuz he was in the water for a long time at a point in the movie, and at another point in the movie they said some scientific nonsense about changing the atmosphere of the ship to krypton's thereby weakening him that's just crap the stuff that weakens them is kryptonite so without kryptonite i wonder what miracles they did. I do like the change of the costume though but i still wonder how no one knows its him when his only disguise is his dorky glasses.
       Generally the movie sucked i expected better even though my friends told me not to get my hopes up since all Superman movies have been crap so far, its probably a product of poor and lazy writing.

School vs Home : The War Within

          OK whenever i'm in school and we have like two weeks left to go on a break i get kinda anxious to go home i start missing the luxuries of home like good food, long sleeping hours, great entertainment, freedom and all the other luxuries, and considering my school's rules(Covenant University) that number in their millions its always a great relief to get home where the long arm of the disciplinary committee can't get you. As the days go by time seems to stretch, minutes seem like hours and hours seem like days and when the night before we leave school finally arrives, i start to think about how my friends wouldn't be around and all and all the people i won't see while at home and i start to miss school a little, but immediately i leave the premises those feelings disappear and everything becomes neutral then after i get home things as still neutral for the first two weeks or so enjoying the perks of being home and all but after that period the boredom fully sets in, staying home all day most of the time and getting bored of the TV, and well for me most of my friends live in a different city so i miss hanging with them then i start missing school, then again when its about one week to resumption all the annoying parts of school flash in my mind and i don't want to go back . Finally when i reach school i feel excited to be with my friends again but after chatting about the vacation and most of us just saying how uneventful ours were, we run out of the bulk of things to talk about and you start realising how stressful the semester would be and you start missing the lazy lifestyle of home again, then when work starts proper thngs go back to being neutral and the cycle begins again.

Nigerians And Accents

  

 Nigerians are big fans of accents, you name it British, American, Jamaican, French, Spanish, Indian basically all accents as long as its not their own, if a Nigerian guy decides to visit another country i think they make it a mission to adopt that country's accent how else would you explain someone going on vacation for just three weeks and coming back with an accent seriously must you make it evident that you've been out of the country and more times than not the imitation of the accent is way off so basically you can end up embarrassing yourself so why try.
     For some reason us Nigerians (myself inclusive) don't like our accents, to be honest someone with a Yoruba, Igbo or Hausa accent immediately comes off as uncivilized, illiterate or just as someone who lives in a village, and its that is not always the case, someone with an accent usually has a hard time because of all the jokes and jests and that general assumption that you're local just because of the accent (I learnt this first hand cuz i used to have one but that story is for later) and there's this word generally used to describe anyone with a Nigerian accent or anyone that loves to use their own language a little too much, people call you "RAZZ" but i still don't understand why you would want to stigmatize someone for using their own language its like a Spanish guy making fun of another Spanish guy for speaking too much Spanish or a Chinese guy making fun of another Chinese guy for speaking too much mandarin  or a British guy making fun of another British guy's accent, doesnt exactly make much sense does it.

Suspended!!!

                                                                   
     OK I'm kinda confused right now i was suspended from a social network, yeah i know it sounds strange what does someone do to get his account suspended on a social network but for some reasons unknown to me the admin wasn't pleased with my activities and decided to suspend me at least they could have sent me a warning message first that asks me to stop whatever i was doing wrong but no, i was just kicked out and now whenever i try to visit the site it tells me the admin suspended my account, maybe the admin guy's girl was liking my pictures a little too much or i got the attention of the girl he's been chasing .
   Seriously the only reason i can think of for my suspension is the fact that i've been posting links to this blog everywhere i get the chance to on the site but is that really a valid reason to suspend me, i mean its a social network i should be able to promote my own blog as long as its within what i can do as a member right? And the links i post there are my major source of traffic, this is just sad but as long as one person is still reading (not like the number of my viewers were that far from one anyways) i shall continue.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

     I wonder what inspired the first person to ask that question he probably wanted to have chicken for dinner with his pals then the chicken probably escaped and after a wild chase, the chicken then crossed the road and out of frustration he just had to ask "Why did the chicken cross the road" and then a nearby friend who probably saw the whole thing replied "To get to the other side" and then the whole gang of friends burst into laughter and they went on to make that a popular comedy question. But that's just my assumption seriously what else would lead someone to ask why a chicken crossed the road what business does he or she have with the chicken reasons cant a chicken just cross the road without being put under a microscope, and I've heard different answers to the question like "Cuz there was a black guy chasing it with a biscuit" got that one from a movie and other answers like "M.L.K. Jr.:  I have a dream! That all chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned!" and "To get away from all the 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' jokes. He is seriously ticked off!" but i sincerely never found the chicken crossing the road jokes funny i never really saw the point.
    For the answer that probably took a long time creating and almost made me giggle even though the joke has become a cliche CLICK HERE

                                                          

Bromance In Nigeria

    Bromance is basically like a combination of brother and romance and its used to describe a close relationship between two or more guys and according to a video by hilarious you tuber Ryan Higa it is shown with signs of affection like hugging, holding hands, wrestling, fist bumping, hi 5ing and other stuff like tapping the other guy's ass doing most of this stuff in other countries might be normal between guys (Though i don't think it is) but in Nigeria once you start doing some of this things the gay radar (gadar) of the people around you will start picking up signals, as a guy imagine you're walking down the street with another guy and he tries to hold your hand wont you find that incredibly creepy first thing I'd say would be "Nigga you gay" in a Riley Freeman tone not to talk of another guy walking up to me for any reason and tapping my ass that would be insanely weird and i'd probably avoid you forever.
    Even hugging another guy sets off the gadar guys should only fist bump, shake hands (with style not like a girl cuz that would still seem gay), hi 5 and only hug because you overcame a life or death situation or something (Yeah its that serious). Ryan Higa the you tuber i got the idea for this post from is crazy funny check out the Bromance video.